I’ve been accused of making love to a woman when she was asleep. In my defence, she was awake when I started.
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing' What do they say?' the priest asked. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment..... You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible... Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.' Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.' The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.. Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them... After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' There was stunned silence... One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, 'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered! ..
I need some advice ,what is the right amount of Roses to give my girlfriend on Valentines Day. 6 ,12 or 24 ? Or the whole tin ?
I went shopping for underpants. The chap said they sold X fronts Y fronts and R fronts. I asked what were R fronts. He said try a pair. So I put them on, I went Aaaaaàrrrrrrhhh...........
Saw the worst Mind Reader ever, last night. Mind Reader: "Think of a Card, any Card." Me: "OK". Mind Reader: "Visualise it in your Mind." Me: "OK". Mind Reader: "Is it the Nine of Clubs?" Me: "No". Mind Reader: "Ace of Spades??" Me: "No". Mind Reader: "What is it Then???" Me: "Happy Birthday..."
