Once upon a time, a man asked a beautiful woman to marry him. The woman said “no” and the man lived happily ever after, rode motorbikes, went fishing and hunting, and went everywhere watching his favourite football team. He dated women half his age and drank beer and whisky, had lots of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
My young neighbour remarked about how my cooking smelled nice. I told her that I was making a curry from scratch. She said "what kind of meat is scratch"
Little John was being “potty trained” and his Mam told him about the New 6 Step Method from a leaflet that she saw at the baby clinic. 1. Unbutton pants 2. Pull pants down 3. Pull foreskin back 4. Wee 5. Push foreskin forward 6. Pull pants up and button up She walked past the bathroom one day, later that week, and heard Little John going 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and she began glowing with pride, thinking about what a good boy he was. Then when she walked past the very next day, and much to her dismay, she heard him shouting, "THREE - FIVE, THREE - FIVE, THREE - FIVE, THREE - FIVE"
Shout out to the people paying £hundreds for hotel rooms to do the same two positions that they do at home
