A man from Newcastle wants to prove the Geordie Nation is better than NASA by landing on the sun ... ... when it was pointed out that the rocket would melt he explained, "Nur pet, wuv arlready thowt it arl throo, wuh gannin up at neet."
My dad just asked me to write down all the people I've ever had sex with. Seventeen pens later... and I still can't spell that one girl's name right
To the woman in ASDA with the screaming kids. If you're wondering how the condoms got into your trolley you're welcome