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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14681
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went for a job interview to be an ice cream man.

    Didn’t get it as I couldn’t do Sundaes.....
     
    #14682
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just bought a sweet car online.

    Previously owned by Neil Diamond.....
     
    #14683
  4. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
    The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
    She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
    The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue and that she wants him in a blue suit.
    She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
    The woman returns the next day for the wake.
    To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
    She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.
    You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
    To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
    'There's no charge,' she says.
    'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
    'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.
    You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
    I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
    'So I just switched the heads.'
     
    #14684
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  6. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  7. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  9. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    .
     
    #14689
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2023
  10. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  11. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  12. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  15. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Woke up this morning to find a spoon in my mouth, a tea bag in my left eye and milk in my right ear.

    I'm sick of being treated like a mug...
     
    #14696
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  18. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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