My wife came home from work to find me sitting watching the football... She said, "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else, I'm also seeing someone else truth be told"... I replied, "Really...? What team does he support".
I went for a job interview today, she asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell.." I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."
My missus used her tits to get out of a speeding ticket today. When the copper tripped over them, she did a runner.
Yet another owldy . . . . Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King, but he was a great ruler.