The police knocked at the door late last night, and said. "Where were you at 20.05 tonight?" I replied, "Well, as it happens, at 8pm I took the missus to the bedroom, for a bit of you know what." The missus shouted from the kitchen "yeah that's right . . . . but **** knows where he was at 5 past !"
A bloke walked in on his wife pleasuring herself with a cucumber. "You filthy bitch" he says. "I was going to eat that later, and now it'll taste of cucumber"
A pie is£1.50 in barbados,£2 in jamaica £3 in antigua,these are the pie rates of the carribean,have a great weekend all.
Another owldy . . . . The Mrs has left me because I'm too insecure. No, wait, she's back . . . . she was just making a cup of tea.
Lions 1-0 Arsehole The man was heard screaming from a distance by people outside near the South African city of Phalaborwa, but the lions quickly eliminated their prey and had already eaten most of his body before being chased off, leaving his head untouched. Trophy hunter is attacked and eaten live by the brother of the lion that he's posing with for #Instagram photos...
I rang the RSPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six badgers in a suitcase by the road... Asked the operator, "Are they moving"...? I replied, "I'm not certain but that would explain the suitcase"...
