Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still have sex – occasionally - and if you do, you only have it in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say, 'F*** you.' The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular) The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/ husband any more. He/she takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. And; last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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My Chinese pal said he’s just opened a Crows shop. I said you mean a clothes shop, he said no come in and have a rook.
I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary. "Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly," she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with." "That's fair enough," I replied, "When can you start."
