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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A man went to the doctors and asked for a double dose of viagra
    I’m sorry I can’t give you a double dose it’s not safe
    But doctor I need it really bad
    Why asked the doctor
    My girlfriend is coming to town on Friday
    My exwife is coming on Saturday
    And my wife is coming Sunday
    All right relented said the doctor
    But you must come and see me on Monday so I can check you over
    On Monday the man walked into the doctors office his arm in a sling
    What happened to you asked the doctor
    The man replied
    No one showed up
     
    #14142
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    BBC NEWS
    Prince Harry: 'I want my father and brother back'
    I didn't know James Hewitt had another son!
     
    #14143
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful,
    big breasted, nude model danced before them.
    Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
    not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
    The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
    Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up....
    and all the other bells started to ring
     
    #14144
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #14146

  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  8. Rangers Til I Die

    Rangers Til I Die Well-Known Member

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    Tell me about it. Roofers at home due to multiple leaks.
     
    #14148
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14149
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54


    The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57


    The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41


    The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60


    And then..


    KFC inventor died at 94


    Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88


    Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102


    The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake


    Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98


    How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?


    The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years. The turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.


    So ... Have a drink ... Take a nap ...


    And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!
     
    #14150
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  12. QPRski

    QPRski Well-Known Member

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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I recently spent £6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
    I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
    I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
    Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.
    He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
    The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!
    He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
    He's like a machine!
    I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.


    please log in to view this image
     
    #14159
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.

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