How was your blind date?" A college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner."
An American tourist stood by watching an Irish farmer dig and turn over the soil. Eventually he said ‘Hey, pal, what are your doing? I’m digging up potatoes, sir’ ‘Potatoes? Those tiny things? You call them potatoes? Back home in Milwaukee we have potatoes 10 times that size!’ “Yes sir, but you see, we only grow them to fit our mouths!”
Just got in from this year's schizophrenic nativity pantomime, it was a great show until we shouted "he's behind you", that's when it all kicked off.
