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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14021
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 28, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and Hammersmith bookie like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-11-29_12-38-26.png
     
    #14022
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 29, 2022
    Hammersmith bookie, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A woman rings hubby and tells him that she's been promoted at work . . . . she is now the manager's personal assistant and will have to work late some nights, starting tonight.
    At breakfast the next morning hubby notices her new watch.
    When asked about it the wife says that she won it in the weekly office raffle.
    A week later she rings him to say that she has to attend a late meeting with the boss.
    Next morning hubby notices her new Gucci purse and asks how can they afford it. "It's okay" she says. "I won it in the weekly office raffle."
    One evening the following week they arrive home at the same time and she tells him that she has to go out again to attend a special client meeting and can he run her a bath while she shaves her legs.
    When she goes to the bathroom she is shocked to see half an inch of water in the bath and asks hubby "What's the meaning of this?"
    Husband says "I didn't think that you'd want to get your raffle ticket wet."
     
    #14023
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 29, 2022
    peter1954qpr, Goldhawk-Road, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14024
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2022
    Hammersmith bookie, Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14025
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 29, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Taffvalerowdy, Hammersmith bookie and 1 other person like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I’ve been taking viagra for my sunburn
    It doesn’t cure it
    But it helps keep the sheets off my legs during the night
     
    #14026
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Goldhawk-Road, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14027
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  8. wi-exile

    wi-exile Active Member

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    upload_2022-12-2_11-43-23.jpeg
     
    #14028
    wi-exile, Dec 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #14029
    Taffvalerowdy, Dec 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger, Goldhawk-Road and 1 other person like this.
  10. Goldhawk-Road

    Goldhawk-Road Well-Known Member

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    #14030
    Goldhawk-Road, Dec 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and Makemstine Roger like this.

  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    #14031
    Uber_Hoop, Dec 4, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14032
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 4, 2022
    Hammersmith bookie, Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14033
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 4, 2022
    Hammersmith bookie, Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My children keep finding the Christmas presents that I've hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the attic.

    So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the "I'm afraid of the dark", “it’s cold” or "I don't like it up here - there are spiders" really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?
     
    #14034
    kiwiqpr, Dec 4, 2022
    Hammersmith bookie, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14035
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 5, 2022
    Kilburn, Makemstine Roger, Hammersmith bookie and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14036
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 5, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14037
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 5, 2022
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I’m not sending any Christmas cards again this year. Instead I’ll be spending the money that I would’ve spent on cards and postage on an exceptionally good 25yr old malt whisky that I’ve wanted to try for ages. Hope you all understand.
     
    #14038
    kiwiqpr, Dec 5, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Didley Squat, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-12-6_10-49-11.png
     
    #14039
    Taffvalerowdy, Dec 6, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Hammersmith bookie, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14040
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Flanman, Hammersmith bookie and 2 others like this.
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