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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-11-26_22-6-48.jpeg
     
    #13281
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 26, 2022
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13282
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2022
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13283
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 27, 2022
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
    So, he inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
    Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
    When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.
    He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself.
    He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.
    Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his mobile phone (Thank god for mobile phones!).
    'Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company.
    It works Fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?'
    'Don't worry,' replied the customer service rep,
    'The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons.'
    Have a nice day.
     
    #13284
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 27, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and BluefromBridgend like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13285
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 28, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and BluefromBridgend like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13286
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 28, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13287
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Claude is 81, and Maude is 79. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town, and they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay. Whilst basking in the glow of the magic moments that they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts . . . . Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known that she was still a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.'
    Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known that he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off.'
     
    #13288
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I’ve been taking viagra for my sunburn
    It doesn’t cure it
    But it helps keep the sheets off my legs during the night
     
    #13289
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13290
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2022
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13291
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 3, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13292
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 3, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13293
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 3, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13294
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 4, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13295
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 4, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13296
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 4, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13297
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 5, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was walking down the road last night when I was tripped over by a violin.

    It was quickly followed by a bassoon to the face and finally a cello fell on my head.

    It was an orchestrated attack.
     
    #13298
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 5, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13299
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13300
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
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Page 665 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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