Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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and is what's written on the other slice, your afters mate

 

My dad always kept rabbits, at the bottom of the garden, which was great for us kids ...

... he had no imagination though, called them all Stew

 

I was driving down the road when I saw a sign
Watch for children
So I made the trade

 

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of d chap stick
She still isn’t talking to me

 

I saw a documentary on how ships are built
It was riveting

 

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday
Never again

 

Little known fact . . . . Jesus Christ, was originally going to be called Saul, until Mary stubbed her toe at the christening !

 

Four cannibals apply for jobs in a big corporation.
"Well“, says the boss, if I hire you lads, you have to promise not to eat any of our staff.“
The cannibals promise that they will not eat anyone, and get hired.
Everything is going well for a while, and one day the boss calls them into his office.
“You’re working well, but we’re missing an office cleaner. Do you have anything to do with that?”
The cannibals swear that they are innocent.
The boss believes them and leaves the office, and they all turn to their leader.
“You idiots!”, he screams. “Who ate the cleaner?”
One of the cannibals sheepishly raises his hand.
“You fool”, shouts the leader.
"For weeks we've been feasting on directors, team leaders, project managers and personnel staff, and then you go and eat someone that they'll actually miss!"

 

Got in a lift this morning and someone farted. It was wrong on so many levels.

 

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.
Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift".
The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.
Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".

 

The British Empire strikes back . . . .

 

I see Wales got around the rainbow ban by having George, Bungle and Zippy in their team.