Said to the wife that I was getting fed up of finishing crosswords to quickly . She said " try not to get two down."
The wife likes a nice salad, was a bit hungry, and asked me to make her something. I decided on Caesar, she said that it was a decent effort, but the dog was less impressed . . . . it was the last tin.
The missus is pissed off with me again . Last night whilst she was fast asleep , i gently removed her tampax and replaced it with a party popper, leaving the string hanging out enough for her to pull. I tell you, she`s got no fcuking sense of humour at all !!!
My wife has told me that she has quit smoking. To see if she's telling the truth, I've gone to work & left the gas on.
The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights...... "I love you!" She said, and then she got all excited, unzipped my trousers and giving me the most amazing sex ever!..... Which is really odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!.....
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion . . . . they said that he'll be given a tough sentence.
A peanut was beaten up as he walked through the park last night. Police confirm that he was a salted.
