1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,158
    Likes Received:
    147,559
    A married couple were getting ready for work when he looked at her and said, "I gotta have you! Now!"
    He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties, and had his way.
    He was glad that he did, because she screamed and wiggled more than he'd ever noticed before.
    As he dressed, he noticed that his wife was still writhing against the door.
    He said, "Honey, that was the best!
    You have never moved like that before. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
    She replied, "No. I'll be okay as soon as I get this doorknob out of my arse!"
     
    #13923
    Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,158
    Likes Received:
    147,559
    A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a halloween party, but he doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
    A few days later he receives a parcel with a note . . . . "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit.
    The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."
    The man thinks that this is terrible because they have just highlighted his wooden leg, so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
    A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says, "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit . . . . the long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."
    Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from highlighting his wooden leg to highlighting his bald head, and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint.
    A couple days later he receives a small parcel and a note which reads,
    "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of raspberry caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple"
     
    #13924
    Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,158
    Likes Received:
    147,559
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13925
    kiwiqpr and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,158
    Likes Received:
    147,559
    An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.


    He calmly came over to me; I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.


    An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my garden, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.


    Curious I pinned a note to his collar: β€œI would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”


    The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:


    β€œHe lives in a home with a non-stop chatting wife, six children, two under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
    Can I come with him tomorrow?”
     
    #13926

  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,158
    Likes Received:
    147,559
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13928
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,177
    Likes Received:
    293,979
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13929
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,177
    Likes Received:
    293,979
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13930
  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,177
    Likes Received:
    293,979
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13933
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,177
    Likes Received:
    293,979
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13934
    kiwiqpr and Makemstine Roger like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,177
    Likes Received:
    293,979
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13935
    kiwiqpr and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,018
    Likes Received:
    232,222
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13937
  18. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    18,613
    Likes Received:
    28,533
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416
  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,305
    Likes Received:
    256,416

Share This Page