1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

Page 974 of 1923
  1. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records

    But then the librarian asked me to take it out
     
    #19461
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, spirit of 73, Whittylad and 5 others like this.
  2. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I threw a ball for my dog the other day

    A little over the top I know

    He looked great in a Tuxedo
     
    #19462
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    spirit of 73, Saf, Whittylad and 5 others like this.
  3. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I was made to walk the plank as a kid

    We couldn't afford a dog
     
    #19463
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 5 others like this.
  4. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I was incredibly surprised when the stationary shop moved
     
    #19464
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 5 others like this.
  5. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    My wife sent me a text
    If your sleeping send me your dreams
    If your laughing send me your smiles
    if your eating send me a bite
    If your drinking send me a sip
    If your crying send me your tears
    I love you

    I replied

    I'm on the toilet please advise
     
    #19465
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Hefty fullback, Chunksafc and 7 others like this.
  6. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Why do cows have hooves

    Because they lactose
     
    #19466
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 2 others like this.
  7. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Where do sheep get their hair cut

    At the baa baa shop
     
    #19467
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 3 others like this.
  8. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    How do you organise an outer space party

    You Planet
     
    #19468
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 2 others like this.
  9. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I ordered 1000 lb of Chinese soup

    It was wonton
     
    #19469
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 3 others like this.
  10. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    What do you call a man with no body and no nose

    Nobody knows
     
    #19470
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.

  11. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    What's the advantage of living in Switzerland

    The flag is a big plus
     
    #19471
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 2 others like this.
  12. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    If a child refuses to take a nap

    Is he resisting a rest
     
    #19472
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 1 other person like this.
  13. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I divorced my cross-eyed wife

    We didn't see eye to eye

    Plus, she was seeing someone on the side
     
    #19473
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 2 others like this.
  14. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I have a step ladder

    I never knew my real ladder
     
    #19474
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  15. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall to her

    I said maybeeee
     
    #19475
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  16. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    When my wife told me to stop impersonating Flamingos

    I had to put my foot down
     
    #19476
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  17. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke

    He won the no-bell prize
     
    #19477
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.
  18. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Have you heard about the movie constipation

    It hasn't come out yet
     
    #19478
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.
  19. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    21,670
    Likes Received:
    58,090
    They say that pet owners buy pets that resemble themselves, I don't know if it's true...
    I'll have to ask the wife when she comes back from walking her Komodo Dragon...
     
    #19479
    Gil T Azell, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 4 others like this.
  20. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Where do you go if you get hurt playing peek-a-boo

    ICU
     
    #19480
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, farnboromackem and 3 others like this.
Page 974 of 1923

Share This Page