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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

Page 974 of 1923
  1. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records

    But then the librarian asked me to take it out
     
    #19461
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, spirit of 73, Whittylad and 5 others like this.
  2. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I threw a ball for my dog the other day

    A little over the top I know

    He looked great in a Tuxedo
     
    #19462
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    spirit of 73, Saf, Whittylad and 5 others like this.
  3. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I was made to walk the plank as a kid

    We couldn't afford a dog
     
    #19463
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 5 others like this.
  4. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I was incredibly surprised when the stationary shop moved
     
    #19464
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 5 others like this.
  5. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    My wife sent me a text
    If your sleeping send me your dreams
    If your laughing send me your smiles
    if your eating send me a bite
    If your drinking send me a sip
    If your crying send me your tears
    I love you

    I replied

    I'm on the toilet please advise
     
    #19465
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Hefty fullback, Chunksafc and 7 others like this.
  6. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Why do cows have hooves

    Because they lactose
     
    #19466
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 2 others like this.
  7. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Where do sheep get their hair cut

    At the baa baa shop
     
    #19467
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 3 others like this.
  8. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    How do you organise an outer space party

    You Planet
     
    #19468
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Chunksafc, Gil T Azell, spirit of 73 and 2 others like this.
  9. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I ordered 1000 lb of Chinese soup

    It was wonton
     
    #19469
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 3 others like this.
  10. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a man with no body and no nose

    Nobody knows
     
    #19470
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.

  11. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    What's the advantage of living in Switzerland

    The flag is a big plus
     
    #19471
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 2 others like this.
  12. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    If a child refuses to take a nap

    Is he resisting a rest
     
    #19472
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 1 other person like this.
  13. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I divorced my cross-eyed wife

    We didn't see eye to eye

    Plus, she was seeing someone on the side
     
    #19473
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 2 others like this.
  14. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I have a step ladder

    I never knew my real ladder
     
    #19474
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  15. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall to her

    I said maybeeee
     
    #19475
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  16. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    When my wife told me to stop impersonating Flamingos

    I had to put my foot down
     
    #19476
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, Gil T Azell and 1 other person like this.
  17. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke

    He won the no-bell prize
     
    #19477
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.
  18. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Have you heard about the movie constipation

    It hasn't come out yet
     
    #19478
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Chunksafc, spirit of 73 and 1 other person like this.
  19. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    They say that pet owners buy pets that resemble themselves, I don't know if it's true...
    I'll have to ask the wife when she comes back from walking her Komodo Dragon...
     
    #19479
    Gil T Azell, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, Chunksafc and 4 others like this.
  20. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Where do you go if you get hurt playing peek-a-boo

    ICU
     
    #19480
    one gary owers, Oct 12, 2022
    Whittylad, Makemstine Roger, farnboromackem and 3 others like this.
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