A BOY, HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER ARE HAVING DINNER. BUT THE BOY DOESN’T WANT TO EAT HIS BROCCOLI. – EAT YOUR BROCCOLI! – SAYS THE MOTHER. – NO! – EXCLAIMS THE BOY. THE FATHER THEN LEANS TOWARD THE BOY AND WHISPERS SOMETHING IN HIS EAR. THE BOY QUICKLY EATS HIS BROCCOLI AND GOES INTO HIS ROOM. – WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM? – I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE DIDN’T EAT HIS BROCCOLI, HIS D!CK WOULDN’T GROW. THE WOMAN THEN STANDS UP AND SLAPS THE MAN AS HARD AS SHE CAN. – WHAT WAS THAT FOR? – HE ASKS, CONFUSED. – FOR NOT EATING YOUR BROCCOLI WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.
My dad used to say "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more" Great bloke . . . . terrible anaesthetist.
My wife has left me for my best friend. Well actually he was a complete stranger at the time. But, he's my best friend now
This variety of orchids (Dracula Simia) look amazingly like little baby monkeys. They are indigenous to Southeastern Ecuador.
Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink. The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness? He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."
