I love my son, but can't stand reading bedtime stories. As a result, I cut them down to reduce the time commitment. His current favourites are The Two Little Pigs and Snow White and the Dwarf.
Pinched from the Beehive/Borough/Vauxie lads. Made me chuckle. What's the highest mountain in Newcastle ? Killamanforagiro
I fainted in the curry house when I heard that REM were splitting up. My mate took a picture and, although I can't show you, that's me in the korma
A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?" The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry." The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." The guy says Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"
Before I tell my Wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them.
