Some future Newcastle United book titles I thought of

Billions and billions

 

My autobiography is going to be called 'SHAK, rattle and roll one up'

 

Mine will be


The ins and outs of Pouchies Lass

 

I thought it was going to be

Tory on the outside, Labour on the inside

 

Who reads books these days?

 

I do

 

Denying my endless love for Boris

by DPP

 

Salty tears on my pillow. A story of top six fans meltdown.

 

The Mirror doesn’t count as a book mate.

 

What kind? Imagine the germs you are getting from them.

 

It’s made out of glass and foil.

 

I still try, the internets a constant distraction obviously but still, nothing as rewarding as a good book really

 

Shelvey shades of bald

 

Lol yeah, 50 blades of grass, the story of my most successful sprint

Harry Potter and the follicles of doom

 

So you're pitching for the fiction/fantasy market then.