Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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LIONEL METHI

 

It's only the 2nd game. Are you sure Man U need me already

 

My son asked me what procrastinate meant.

I said “Hmm . . . . I’ll tell you later.”

 

It was that hot today that I saw a blackbird blowing on a worm before eating it.

 

Another owldy, but goody (corny) . . . .

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.

Our dates can be summarised as follows . . . . dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner. dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner Batman.

 

. . . . and another

My wife told me that sex is so much better when on holiday.
That wasn't a nice postcard to receive.

 

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My nephew is off to East Yorkshire University after his A level results, A, C, D, C. He's on the Highway to Hull.

 

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Confuse guests by putting framed kitchen signs in the bathroom . . . .

 

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
'Grumpy slept with a penguin!'
'Grumpy slept with a penguin!'

 

My wife says she's fed up and is planning on leaving me this weekend.
Despite begging and pleading with her, she's adamant she won't move out before then.

 

I can't believe how much weight the wife's put on since she's been off work.
I'll be glad when the weekend's over.

 

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