From the wonderful Viz Comic (or it was)
Vernon Dakin, aka Big Vern is a character in the British comic Viz, first appearing in 1982 as a parody of 1970s London mobsters. He was devised by Viz founder Chris Donald, and is today drawn by Simon Thorp.
Vern is heavily built, square-jawed, with very short hair, sunglasses and a grizzled look. He has a tendency towards the paranoid. He mistakenly believes himself as a '70s blagger, and often mistakes normal and innocent activities for criminal escapades, usually armed robberies or kidnappings. He hangs around with his friend Ernie, an easy-going mild mannered man perplexed by Vern's tendency to see their activities through the eyes of a desperate mobster.
It is not clear if Vern really is a gangster, or simply a man with severe delusions. He never seems to associate with real criminals, only Ernie, yet he does seem to know a lot about armed robberies, has no hesitation in killing people and has a seemingly endless supply of firearms. The punchline of nearly every strip is that Vern mistakes someone - such as a traffic warden, an old lady or even Prince Charles - for an armed policeman. He shouts "Get dahn Ernie, he's got a piece" or words to such effect, before shooting that person dead. He then kills himself to avoid jail ("No bastard copper's gonna take me alive!"), having just killed Ernie under the belief that Ernie would also want to be dead rather than go to prison (even though Ernie has done nothing wrong).
In another strip, Vern and Ernie go to stay at a hotel. Vern is convinced that it is a prison, and after slopping out and decorating his room (which he believes is a cell) with pictures from pornographic magazines, he announces his intention of muscling in on the snout racket and denounces a fellow guest as a nonce "it could have been your kids Ernie, let me at him", etc. He then goes stir crazy and launches a rooftop protest, sitting on the roof of the hotel and demanding better conditions. The final prison stereotype shows Vern sodomising Ernie in the shower claiming that he has "been wivout a woman too long, Ernie".