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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    <laugh> ..........bloody laptop!
     
    #13701
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 13, 2022
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  2. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    man utd.jpg
     
    #13702
    duggie2000, Aug 13, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13703
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 13, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-8-14_9-30-33.jpeg
     
    #13704
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 14, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  5. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #13705
    swantastic, Aug 14, 2022
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  6. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #13706
    swantastic, Aug 14, 2022
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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    times are hard at the moment so i said to the grand kids i would take them to k.f.c. as a treat where they could lick other people's fingers
     
    #13707
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 14, 2022
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13708
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 14, 2022
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Got a note through my door today that read, "Meet me 8pm tonight behind the bus garage if you like having your c*ck sucked - signed Kinky School Girl xxx"
    So I went there, waited for ages. No one turned up.
    Went back home. My house had been burgled.
     
    #13709
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 14, 2022
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13710
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 14, 2022
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-8-14_14-37-12.png
     
    #13711
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 14, 2022
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  12. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #13712
    swantastic, Aug 14, 2022
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13713
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 14, 2022
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  14. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #13714
    duggie2000, Aug 14, 2022
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  15. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #13715
    duggie2000, Aug 14, 2022
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  16. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #13716
    swantastic, Aug 15, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13717
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
    Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
    'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.
    'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
    'Very good,' said the teacher.
    Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
    'That was a fine story Sarah.'
    Michael, do you have a story to share?'
    'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Barbara. Aunty Barbara was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
    She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
    She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
    She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she
    ran out of bullets.
    Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
    And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'
    'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
    'Stay away from Aunty Barbara when she's had a Drink .
     
    #13718
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2022
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  19. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant
     
    #13719
    neveroffsidereff, Aug 15, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13720
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2022
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