Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Lovely . . . .

 

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

 

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I work with a Chinese guy called Kim and one time we were having a drink and I said to him

“Do you ever get fed up of westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same?”

He replied “Kim’s at the bar getting drinks, I’m his wife”

 

Jack decided to go skiing with his mate, Bob, so they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realise that it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid that the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way, enjoying a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, though, Jack got an unexpected letter from a solicitor. It took him a few minutes to work it out, but he finally determined that it was from the solicitor of that attractive widow on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked 'Bob, do you remember that good looking widow from the farm that we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago ?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit ?'
'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out.
'I have to admit that I did.'
'Did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name ?'
Bob's face turned beetroot red and he said 'Yeah. I'm sorry, buddy, but I'm afraid that I did. Why do you ask ?'
'She just died and left me everything.'

 

Wetherspoons open a new pub in Africa.

 

I started a dating website for chickens.

It’s not my usual day job . . . . I just do it to help make hens meet.

 

Sad news folks. The man who invented Tetris has died.
They buried him and the whole cemetery disappeared…… RIP

 

What sorcery is this.

 

There was this fat, ugly, spotty kid in my class that I used to tease and call names...
I think that's what led to me losing my job as a teacher!