Prison vs. work IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle. IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day. AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior. IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK............you're often required to carry a security card and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK...........you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet. AT WORK..........you share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat. IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK............you're not supposed to even speak to your family. IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers. AT WORK............you pay all your expenses to get to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON........ .you must deal with sadistic wardens. AT WORK...........they're called managers.
A lawyer boarded an airplane in Dublin with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's fridge. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in London, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Dublin, please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up.... So she took them home and enjoyed them. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.
Last month, a worldwide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" Sadly, the survey was a failure because: In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. And in the UK, everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent
