Another owld one . . . . A bloke in the pub said that he had a guaranteed pick up line that never fails no matter how stunning or 'out of his league' the woman is. He said that he never fails to end up in the sack with them. He said that he starts with "Excuse me, love, but could I ask your opinion . . . . does this damp cloth smell of chloroform to you ?"
Someone asked me what the best thing about Switzerland is, I said, “I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus”. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? ............A bloke will actually spend time searching for a golf ball
If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you have to ask how he's got to that age, living next to water, without knowing how.
Paddy and Seamus are watching the footy at Paddy's house, when the match has finished it's raining cats and dogs so paddy says " ya can't go home in that Seamus I'll make the spare bed up"......when paddy comes downstairs Seamus is stood there soaking wet, " what the feck happened Seamus".....he says "I went home to get my pyjamas
