A lady is sitting at the bar and an army man approaches her. After a short conversation she asks him "how long has it been since you last had sex?" He replies, "since 2015". The woman looks at him and says, "that is terrible, follow me to my car and I will make you forget all your problems". He follows her and she is very satisfied. She says, "you did PERFECT. How do you still remember what to do?!!". The confused guy looks at her and says "it has only been 3 hours. It is barely 2315 now" Husband: I want to Divorce my Wife! Lawyer: On what Grounds? Husband: She's out all night, every night, from Bar to Bar. Lawyer: Do you mean She's an Alcoholic or do you think She's Cheating on You? Husband: No, She's Looking for Me.
Just remembering a thing a mate of mine once said. He used to come out with some belters, wished i'd written them down. We were coming back from a days fishing, in the car, and the news came on the radio. I cant remember the exact wording but the newsreader stated something along the lines of 'The remains of new dinosaur has been discovered in Argentina. The Diplopteradinkywinkysaraus is thought to have lived during the Jurassic period.' My mate shook his head and said 'You know what? I'm sure they just make these names up ya knaaa!'
