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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    #16401
  2. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    Some how and some way through the
    Now my pics when I can actually get them are on the side
     
    #16402
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Re: spirits mention of bricks. An oldie but goodie.
    Bricklayers insurance letter

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

    Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.

    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

    Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.

    I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
    I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.

    I let go of the rope!
     
    #16404
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  6. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My internet has been naff abroad mate. Could be location.
     
    #16406
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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #16408
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  10. Nig

    Nig Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #16410
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  11. Nig

    Nig Well-Known Member

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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    bloody brill that nig loved Reidy in the uniform
     
    #16412
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  13. Nig

    Nig Well-Known Member

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    Whatever turns you on Rog :emoticon-0148-yes:<laugh>
     
    #16413
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    twat there again i must admit getting promoted had a stirring in the loins region<laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #16414
    Last edited: May 26, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. 'There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. 'Now you must do the same,' he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. 'Second,' the professor continued, 'you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?'
     
    #16415
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  17. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm Brilliant Nig
     
    #16417
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  18. Nig

    Nig Well-Known Member

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    I only pasted it mate :emoticon-0148-yes: <laugh>
     
    #16418
  19. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    #16419
  20. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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