Was on the Camping and Caravan Club website looking for availability for 2nd to 6th June for somewhere in Scotland. This screen below popped up..... No wonder he's got a smile on his face!
Police have confirmed that 2 Ex Premiership footballers had their houses burgled on the same night. Ryan Giggs of Manchester United lost 70 Wales caps,11 premiership medals, 2 Champions League, 1 European cup winners cup, 5 FA Cup, 4 League Cup, 2 World club champions, 8 Charity shield, and 1 yuSuper cup medals. It is believed that Alan Shearer lost a kettle and a toaster.
Dave comes home from work early one day. He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor. He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can't take it any more. Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can. "What the f*ck was that for?!" she screams at him. "That was for not turning round to see who it was." he replies.
We've all heard of the actor Richard Gere, but it is such a shame that his fame overshadowed that of his famous ventriloquist father . . . . Gotler !
Another old one . . . . There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. One day one of the priests showed up for work without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was and the first priest said "I don't know, but I think that it was stolen" The other priest said "Well what you should do is read out the Ten Commandments, and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" someone will confess to the crime." The next time the two saw each other the priest had his bicycle back. "I see that you got your bike back Did you do what I said ?" The other priest said "Well kind of . . . . when I was reading the commandments and I got to "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery" I remembered where I left it."
In the village where I live everyone wears a jumper 2 sizes too small. I never found out why even though it's a tight knit community.