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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12581
    Taffvalerowdy, May 22, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12582
    Wooperts_duck, May 22, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #12583
    Gordon Armstrong, May 23, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12584
    Taffvalerowdy, May 23, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12585
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2022
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12586
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2022
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12587
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2022
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12588
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12589
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    OK. So we've all heard of the actor Richard Gere.

    But it is such a shame that his fame overshadowed that of his famous ventriloquist father..... Gotler !!
     
    #12590
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was so the first priest said, "I don't know, but I think it got stolen!"
    The other priest said, "Well what you do is read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" someone will confess to the crime."
    The next time the two saw each other the priest had his bicycle back. "I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?" the one priest said.
    The other said, "Well kind of, when I was reading the commandments and I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, I seemed to remember where I had left it."
     
    #12591
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    In the village where I live everyone wears a jumper 2 sizes too small.

    Never found out why even though its a tight knit community.
     
    #12592
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was in the chemistry lab at school earlier and I said to the prep assistant, “What can I use to get rid of germs?”

    She said, "Ammonia cleaner."

    I said, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you worked here..."
     
    #12593
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12594
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

    “Try the ATM outside,” he said.
     
    #12595
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12596
    Makemstine Roger, May 25, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12597
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12598
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2022
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Kevin gets a New Secretary.
    A few days later his wife learns of this this new hire, and so he faces a volley of rapid, suspicious questions.
    Emma (Kevin's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?" Kevin: “Didn’t quite notice."
    Emma: "What color are her eyes?" Kevin: “Haven’t had the time to check."
    Emma: "What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon?" Kevin:
    “Not a clue in the world." Emma: "Does she have a local accent?” Kevin: “I barely spoke to her, so don’t know.”
    Emma: "How does she dress?" Kevin: "Very quickly.”
     
    #12599
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2022
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #12600
    Gordon Armstrong, May 26, 2022
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Page 630 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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