So a teacher asked her class: "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said: "All I want out of life is four little animals!" The teacher asked: "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?" The little girl said: "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
Three young women are at a cocktail party when the conversation turns to their husbands. The first woman, smiling smugly, says "My husband is taking me on a romantic break to the French Riviera for two weeks." The second boasts "Well my husband just bought me a brand new Porsche." The third shrugs and says "Well to be perfectly honest with you ladies, we don't have much money or many material possessions, but one thing that I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis." After this the first woman looks ashamed. "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was only trying to impress you. You know that holiday that I was telling you about? Well it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents' house for two weeks." The second one says, "Oh ladies, I'm just as bad. It's not a Porsche that he bought me, but an old, battered Skoda." "Well I also have a confession to make," said the third. "Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg."
