Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

The word for the fear of palindromes is Aibohphobia.

 

Close or what

 

That end bit man...makes it for me.

 

It's been reported that the Irish are going to make a determined effort to eradicate a possible new outbreak of bird flu, even to the point of sending their air force in the planned operation.

I can't see how bombing the Canary Islands will help, mind

 

Do the winners of Heard v Depp and Vardy v Rooney meet in the final ?

 

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window... He tells her to take off her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor? "Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer." Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?" She replies, "Yes, getting herpes - that's why I am here!"

 

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The missus wanted me to take her to Vegas to see The Temptations...

I ended up taking her to Primark and got her Four Tops instead....!!!

 

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

 

MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2019 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: “How much?
WOMAN: “$85,000."
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
“WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”