A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "LOVE dress? But you're naked!" "My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the 'miracle' products, she asked, 'Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?' Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, 'Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.' 'Oh, you flatterer!' she gushed. 'Hey, wait a minute!' Harold interrupted. 'I haven't added them up yet.' That was the last thing he remembered before waking up in hospital bed. Hospital visiting hours are 9am to 6pm.
The wife was moaning that summer was coming and that she needed a whole new wardrobe. So i took her to ikea
Jack is on his death bed, and he says to his wife, "Can you give me one last wish?" She says, "Anything you want." He says, "After I die, will you marry Larry?" She says, "But I thought you hated Larry." With his last breath, he says, "I do."
After the judge sentenced Boris Becker to 2½ years he asked her how many months that was. She told him "That's 30 Love".
