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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Just come as you are.......

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    #12361
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12362
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2022
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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    A man goes to hospital feeling really unwell. The Doctor performs some tests and says "I am afraid that you have a very rare and contagious disease, so we"re transferring you to a room where you will be fed a diet of Pizza, toast and pancakes."
    "Will that cure me?" asks the man.
    "No," says the Doctor "but it"s the only food that we can pass under the f*cking door!"
     
    #12363
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 14, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-14_20-31-40.jpeg
     
    #12364
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2022
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-14_22-13-19.jpeg
     
    #12365
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-15_10-38-44.jpeg
     
    #12366
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 15, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Breaking news:

    A Cessna light aircraft has collided with the top of the London Eye.

    Police say that the pilot is slowly coming round.
     
    #12367
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12368
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12369
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 15, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A police station was burgled and they stole the toilet. The police have nothing to go on.
     
    #12370
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 15, 2022
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12371
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 15, 2022
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-15_17-58-16.png
     
    #12372
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 15, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    In a Nursing home an old priest lay dying.

    For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.
    He motioned for his nurse to come near.
    “Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
    “I would really like to see Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak before I die”,
    whispered the priest.
    “I’ll see what I can do, Father”, replied the nurse”
    The nurse sent the request to No 10 and waited for a response.
    Soon the word arrived; Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak would be delighted to
    visit the priest.
    As they went to the hospital, Boris commented to Rishi,
    “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images”.
    Rishi agreed that it was the right thing to do at this time.
    When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Boris's hand in his
    right hand and the Rishi's hand in his left.
    There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.
    The old priest slowly said:
    “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ”

    “Amen” said Boris
    “Amen” said Rishi

    The old priest continued, “Jesus died between two lying thieving bastards;

    "And I would like to do the same"
     
    #12373
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 15, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12374
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 15, 2022
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12375
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12376
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12377
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
    After she had been driving for awhile, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
    She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
    The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
    The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
    The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
    "If I can guess the real colour of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
     
    #12378
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  19. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    We are flushed with many candidates from this forum! Some, are dux of the class!
     
    #12379
    Didley Squat, Apr 16, 2022
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  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    6a542858d3a8e3971a00c19b7714ed8ca78cadf2eef88f90efae034b5b87a032.jpg
     
    #12380
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 16, 2022
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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