I was talking to a chinese bloke yesterday. I asked him what he did for a living? He replied "pirate" I said "thats interesting,what ship do you have? He looked at me surprised and said" what ship? I fry a prane.
As we stripped off, jumping into the bed, my wife said to me, "Can you give me a couple of minutes. "Why? Want to freshen up?" I asked. "No," she replied. "It’s just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds!
Vaginas are like gyms… I'm rarely inside one, but when I am, I sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope nobody notices!
I've decided to sell my dogging gear on ebay. I haven't had any offers yet, but I've got 7 people watching.
I was out driving last night and I started to feel a little bit horny, so I pulled into a well known dogging spot… I really enjoyed myself, but I think I failed my driving test!