I went for an interview the other day, and it was going well when the head of H.R. said "we really like your expertise and your c.v. The job is 40 hours a week at £500 per week rising to £600 after six months. When can you start ? I said "in 6 months"
A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.' "No, love," he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15"
This bloke in the pub said to me, "F*ck me, that was a rough old bitch you were with last night, not a patch on the women I normally see you with, what on Earth ever possessed you to take her out? " "I had to, " I replied, "it was our wedding anniversary. "
I was struggling on a crossword. 5 across, 6 letters: 'Someone who has not had sexual intercourse yet' _ I _ G _ _ Oh hang, just got it.... GINGER
I hate it when the clocks go forward an hour. It means for a week afterwards I get my usual wake-up erection when I'm on the bus to work!
Walking along the path at Cliff Park at Roker and our lass said she wanted to do something daring and naughty! I gave her a little wink and said "you could toss me off if you like".....and that's the last thing I remember.
