1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 611 of 830
  1. wi-exile

    wi-exile Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2011
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    195
     
    #12201
    wi-exile, Mar 23, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12202
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 24, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    This bloke in the pub said to me
    "F*ck me, that was a rough old bitch that you were with last night . . . . not a patch on the women that I normally see you with. What on Earth ever possessed you to take her out ?"
    "I had to" I replied "it was our wedding anniversary."
     
    #12203
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 25, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    upload_2022-3-25_14-48-18.png
     
    #12204
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 25, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    Police officers have seized an uninsured ice-cream van after it was involved in a collision.

    The driver of the car that was hit sustained whippy lash.
     
    #12205
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    I was watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night, and the bloke on the triangle disappeared.
     
    #12206
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and Makemstine Roger like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    The man who makes the giant eclairs at our local patisserie is retiring next week.

    There be some pretty big chouxs to fill when he goes......
     
    #12207
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    KingHotspur, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    I first met my girlfriend on a village green!

    There were marquees, food stalls, tug of war and a tombola

    Fete brought us together...
     
    #12208
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    KingHotspur, Makemstine Roger, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    My mother in law is a big woman, she got run over last week.

    The driver said he had enough room to get round her.

    But he didn't have enough petrol....
     
    #12209
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    KingHotspur, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,079
    Likes Received:
    147,352
    TRUE LOVE

    please log in to view this image
     
    #12210
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 25, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    I got fired from the hospital for stealing neck braces.

    At least I could leave with my head held high...
     
    #12211
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    KingHotspur, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12212
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,950
    Likes Received:
    293,525
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12213
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,079
    Likes Received:
    147,352
    Husband has always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light and finds the husband holding a vibrator.

    she goes ballistic, “you impotent bastard, how could you lie to me all these years?!”

    Husband looks her straight in the eyes and says “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids.”
     
    #12214
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 25, 2022
    KingHotspur, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    My wife is a porn star.

    There'll be hell on if she finds out.
     
    #12215
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 26, 2022
    KingHotspur and San Diego like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    Me and the missus were arguing about the size of tits.
    I’m telling her that it doesn’t matter, she says it does.
    Long story short I start my new diet tomorrow
     
    #12216
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 26, 2022
    KingHotspur, San Diego and BluefromBridgend like this.
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    25,988
    Likes Received:
    114,498
    upload_2022-3-26_11-55-56.png
     
    #12217
    Gordon Armstrong, Mar 26, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,079
    Likes Received:
    147,352
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12218
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 26, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,079
    Likes Received:
    147,352
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12219
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 26, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and BluefromBridgend like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,079
    Likes Received:
    147,352
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12220
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 26, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
Page 611 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page