Sometimes the old ones are the best . . . . A blonde is overweight so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days" he tells her. "Then skip a day and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time that I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly four stone. "Why that's amazing" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions ?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought that I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger you mean?" Asks the doctor. "No," replies the blonde, "from skipping."
A local man has been admitted to hospital with a golf ball lodged in his bottom. His wife said its gone up a fairway.
My doctor told me to take two tablets every four hours . . . . now I'm banned from PC World and I'm writing this from the local nick !
