BREAKING NEWS! Engineers have just made a car that can run on parsley . . . . now they're hoping to make buses that run on thyme !
Penis says to his balls “I’ll take you two to a party.” The balls reply “you ****ing liar!! You always go inside alone and leave us outside knocking”
My wife told me that our new kitten had to be chipped. I only had a 9 iron but still got it over the shed!
At age 12, I was blessed with a nine inch penis... And three years later, that priest went to prison!
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for £150 or we can have her shipped back home for £5,000 .The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home .The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend £5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost £150????"The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead . I just can't take that chance!"
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
