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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  3. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I now have to use a lubricant before having sex with the wife...Usually about eight pints.
     
    #14523
  4. OldNewtown

    OldNewtown Well-Known Member

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    So she's moved on from a bottle of Lambrini then... :emoticon-0102-bigsm
     
    #14524
  5. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    MI5 had an opening for an assassin.
    After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two women and a man.
    For the final test, the MI5 agents took one of the women to a large metal door and handed her a gun.
    'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
    Inside the room you will find your husband sitting in a chair .... Kill him!!'
    The woman said, 'You can't be serious I could never shoot my husband .'
    The agent said, 'Then you're not the right woman for this job. Take your husband and go home.'
    The second woman was given the same instructions. She took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet forabout 5 minutes.
    The woman came out with tears in her eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my husband .' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your husband and go home.'
    Finally, it was the man’s turn. He was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow.
    'This gun is loaded with blanks' he said. 'I had to kill her with the f*cking chair!'
     
    #14525
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #14526
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    love it Gill<laugh><laugh>
     

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    #14527
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  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    The first night in prison and not sleeping next to my wife, I wrestled uncontrollably with a large and throbbing erection.
    I just wish it had been mine.
     
    #14531
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  12. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Steak and blow job day has been a bit of a disaster this year.
    I was having to chew for ages, and then I really struggled to swallow.
    The steak wasn't too bad though.
     
    #14532
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    it brought a lump to my throat having to read your suffering keep smiling mate:emoticon-0128-hi:
     
    #14533
  14. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    #14534
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  15. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #14537
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    What`s the difference between a Remainer and a Puppy ?

    Eventually the puppy stops whining !
     
    #14538
  19. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Are we bloody close yet.<laugh>
     
    #14539
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>you would hope so by they are incessant
     
    #14540
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