Ive always been known as abit of a Frank Spencer type bloke, despite holding down a good well paid job for 20 years.. My downfall has always been my common sense. I literally have none at all, and if theres a problem i always over analyse it instead of looking at the simple option... I had another thick tw@t moment today which is quite amusing, but first ill share 2 of my other best moments for the craić... * I phoned Virgin up a few years ago because my Virgin box stopped working. After constantly arguing over the phone they sent an engineer out and when he walked in he said pass me the remote. He took it off me took 2 batteries out of his Tool bag, put them in the remote and said there you go mate your batteries were flat. He was in my house less than 2 mins. * i had a wasp on my lightshade, tried to smack it with a newspaper, missed and the room suddenly went dark. I assumed id loosened a wire so i spent over a year without the main light in the bedroom. When i sold the house 2 years later i knew i finally needed to sort it so my mate who's a sparky travelled for an hour to fix it. He turned up and mentioned if id tried a new bulb . He said go get me a fecking bulb you useless c###t. Needless to say as soon as a new bulb was tried it worked . Todays incident was.... I phoned up BT a few weeks ago because i have no tv signal. She said an aerial engineer would be 30 pound. I kicked off and managed to get it down to 15 pound.. Anyway hes come today from Seaham (i live in Teesside), to climb up on my roof to fix it. He came into the house first to have a quick look at the Telly. He looked at me and said youve got the aerial plugged in the wrong place mate. It works fine now Go on be honest, i cant be the only one on here. Share you're stories..... .
When my daughter was in comp I went to the school reception desk to collect a polo shirt for her. On the way out I stood in front of the door but the door wouldn't open. I looked at the wall to my side as I stood patiently Infront of the main door looking for a button to press. I then started looking for pressure pads with my feet in the hope the door would open. It didn't...so I turned around feeling myself starting to blush and went back to the reception desk. How do you open the door to get out I asked... Just push it she said. FFS it never even crossed my mind to do that! True story lol.
I'll have a think on it because I'm sure I've got several but just wanted to say that was funny as **** Tees
One thing in life ill never do is think im something im not and take myself too seriously. Lifes about living and laughing
Great that Tees, had a good laugh at that....just what I needed tbh. Got a feeling this could be a long, ongoing thread.....bit like the "just for Mr rawhite" one.... I will be adding to it for definate......you've started something here mate!!
I really hope so mate, i have many more to add aswell haha. I was born a dozy fecker. I love it though. We're born, get educated, get a job/make a family and then die. Ive never took myself seriously and i hate people that do
Its the little humourous things in life mate that makes the world go round. My stupidy has probably made many of his friends and family laugh aswell which is all good
I've actually just read these again for the second time! It's class mate and I can't decide which one is the best.
When I was younger I had a laminator, put a flump through it with the wrapper sealed. It started to melt and the wrapper popped. The gooey flump went all over the laminator. Got a knife from the kitchen to scrape it off and got a massive electric shock. Probably the most stupid moment of my life. Still alive tho
My missus says some crackers mind “Look at that I have £9.50 in pound coins in my purse” But most come from when she tries to be better than us when the Chase is on. She rushes to give answers Bradley, “ what is the shortest month”, her indoors, “May, it only has 3 letters” Bradley, “who was the emperor when the construction of the coliseum began. Was it: A- Claudius, B- Vespasian or C - Titus” Her indoors, “it has to be Vespasian, because Vespa is a scooter isn’t it?” - me “well yes but the coliseum wasn’t a ****ing speedway track” At least she got the answer right. Bradley, “ what item of furniture is also the most powerful person on a board of directors”. Her “ the wardrobe”.
I did exactly the same thing as you with the light fitting - mind you I did mine playing cricket in my living room when I top edged an over ambitious hook shot straight up in to the light shade. I was on my own at the time bouncing a tennis ball off one wall and then quickly getting in to position to play in using a reinforced cardboard tube that was about 2 feet long. Given the shape of my bat I suppose top edges were inevitable. Rather than owning up I came up with a convoluted rant about how I hate the big light and from now on I only wanted lamps in the living room and for that matter all other rooms - I reluctantly conceded on the kitchen. We then went and spent a fortune on lamps for all around the house - for the further cost of several pints I managed to get an electrician mate of mine to come round and fix the damage a few weeks later and his first words were "have you got a spare bulb" and lo and behold we had light!! That cost me several more pints in order to stop him telling the whole street how stupid I was. To this day I still only have lamps on in the house as it actually made me realise that I really do hate the big light!!
