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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Martinlewismoneysavingtips.
    Diesel £1.68 per litre...
    £85 to fill the tank.
    Fill her up and drive off.
    £50 Court fine.
    Save £35 per tank.
     
    #14381
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    This Arsenal fan lost his hair when celebrating one of their goals at Watford yesterday :emoticon-0136-giggl
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14385
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    In a recent survey of dyslexic Yorkshiremen, over half admitted wearing a cat flap on their head.
     
    #14386

  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I've just asked the Pharmacist.."Have you any Benylin"..?

    He said.."For Cough"..

    I said..." Ok mate,.I only asked"
     
    #14387
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
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  9. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14390
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14391
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14392
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing.

    Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

    Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
     
    #14393
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

    When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

    So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
    note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.

    Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

    The blonde said,
    "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

    The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

    Wait for it

    The blonde said,
    "No, just up to my tits ...
    I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"
     
    #14394
    Wooperts_duck, Nordic, Draig and 4 others like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"
    The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
    "So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
    "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
    "Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."
    "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied.
    "So what happened then?" the man asked.
    The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."
    "And then?" "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
    The man laughed and said, "Again?"
    The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
    "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.
    "I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."
    "And then?" "Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
    "Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "So, what did you do?" the man asked.
    "Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...
    Some things you just can't explain."
     
    #14395
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My wife is doing a parachute jump tomorrow, and I’m genuinely concerned that her chute won’t open.
    The last time something that big hit the planet, the f*cking dinosaurs got wiped out.
     
    #14397
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  19. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

    I said I wanna watch.

    Got a lovely Tag Heur, but I think they misunderstood what I was asking for.
     
    #14400

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