Went to see a mind reader last night. She said "Think of a card, any card" "OK" "Is it the four of clubs?" "No" "Ace of diamonds?" "No" "What is it then?" "Birthday"
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
Paddy, the Irish labourer goes to his doctor, "I'm constipated." he says. The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, "Lean over the table." After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his arse with a baseball bat. A loud "CRACK!" is heard, and the doctor sends Paddy to the toilet. After coming out of the toilet, Paddy says, "I feel great! What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping your arse with cement bags!!" ...
some of the things you put up have me in fits , and you must have a brass neck to post them, keep up the good work mate
I held her hand, looked her in the eye and whispered, "Before we go on, do you have any STDs?" Then for some reason she put down the menu, got up from the table and f*cked off.
Thought I would stick this one on this thread regarding a recent personal experience. Just been doing my daily exercises which entailed dancing like a madman to Jam records in the conservatory. I didn’t see the parcel delivery driver come in the back gate until he was right at the window. You could see him trying to suppress a giggle as he handed over the parcels.
