My Mrs just came downstairs and said "I've just shaved my legs, my armpits and my pubic hair . . . . you know what that means, don't you" I said "yes . . . . the bloody plug hole in the bath is blocked again, isn't it."
For the past 20 years I've received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.
My wife called me yesterday. She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day . . . . they are absolutely gorgeous." I said "That's probably why they received flowers."
A lady to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep . . . . what can I do to cure it ?" Doctor: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake."
