What's the difference between Meatloaf and Prince Andrew? Meatloaf is brown bread. Prince Andrew is toast.
My rock fan mate of mine tragically lost the lower part of both arms in an industrial accident. Now he plays the air guitar with his air hands. A farmer mate of mine tragically lost all his fingers to a threshing machine. He staggered 15 miles to the A&E department of the nearest hospital, where the surgeon told him that it was a pity he hadn't brought his fingers with him as he could have sewn them back on. "I would have done", replied my mate,"but I couldn't pick 'em up."
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting flies he responded." O have you killed any yet she asked. "Yep. 3 males 2 females" he replied. Intrigued she asked "how can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the f*****g phone !
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?' His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse. Oh, Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you.'
