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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 579 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Someone threw fabric conditioner at me in Tesco.

    Didn't see the label but must have been Lenor. It was too close for Comfort
     
    #11561
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 6, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, Makemstine Roger, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-1-7_9-5-46.png
     
    #11562
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 7, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-1-7_14-59-16.jpeg
     
    #11563
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 7, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11564
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 7, 2022
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak English, but was a very good worker:
    After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the 'parts, but the sheep farmer yelled. "No! Don't throw those away, my wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries.'"
    Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper and indeed, the sheep fries were tasty.
    The next day, they castrated 16 sheep and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of sheep fries. The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was.
    She said. "You know, it was the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many sheep fries this evening, we were also going to have French fries. Then he screamed and ran like hell."
     
    #11565
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 7, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11566
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 7, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.

  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-1-8_18-9-40.png
     
    #11567
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 8, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11568
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 8, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11569
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 8, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    BREAKING:
    In an effort to win the constructor’s title, the Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday and replaced them with just four scousers. This announcement follows a recent documentary showing how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high-tech equipment. It was thought to be a bold move by the Ferrari management as most races are won and lost in the pits. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!
    At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mercedes team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's ex-bird in the shower.
     
    #11570
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11571
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11572
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11573
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11574
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11575
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 9, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11576
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 10, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Going to a fancy dress party, what you think of my costume ?

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    #11577
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 10, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11578
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 10, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11579
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #11580
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
Page 579 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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