New The Pope was in England and got into his limousine and said to the chauffeur 'I am always being driven around and I'm getting fed up with it. I am a good driver so please could you let me drive ?' The chauffeur agreed and the Pope drove. A Police car pulled the limo over and the policeman saw that the Pope was the driver and said 'I need to go back to my car for a second' The policeman got on the radio 'Sarg, I have just pulled a limo over for speeding.' Sarg replied 'Issue a ticket, then' The policeman said 'but Sarg, I think that it is somebody really Important.' Sarg replied 'More Important than the Prime minister?' The policeman said 'I think so, Sarg.' Sarg replied 'More important than the Queen?' The policeman replied 'It's quite possible Sarg.' 'So who is it then?' asked Sarg. The policeman replied 'I don't know Sarg, but the Pope is his chauffeur.'
Two beggars in Manchester, Ali and Habib They beg in different areas of Manchester ... Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. Habib asks Ali :- 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?' Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'? Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'. Ali says No wonder you only get £2- £3 Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'? Ali shows Habib his sign.... It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan'.
especially when you drop a baby's arm one, you cant bash it away with the bog brush, and it stinks like a dead rat and there is no air freshener
I’m just loving the Hamilton fans in melt down. I’m glad Max won, now I hope the scarlet machines are competitive next season.
Paddy's in bed with his wife .Her mobile phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers it then angrily replies "Why don't you feck off, and ring the weather office!" Wife asks "Who was that?". He says "Some knuckle head asking if the coast was clear"
