New Technology is dangerous. My neck is killing me from leaning back to avoid the cocks while watching 3D porn.
my new girlfriend said to me that she wanted to wait six months before she gave me a blow job, i said i totally respected her decision and i will give her a call then!
A woman had been on the game for 4 years and was worried about the size of her fa..y on her wedding night. So, she decided to tell her husband that she caught it climbing over a fence. After an hour in bed with her, he said "How far across the field were you before you realised it was caught".
Wife says to her husband "You only ever want sex with me when you're drunk". Husband replies "That's not true.....sometimes I want a kebab".
My daughter was given an advent calendar with different cheeses on each day. She is hoping to see baby cheeses on the 25th…