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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #21201
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #21203
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #21205
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What's the difference between Omicron and Macron ?

    One is a nasty disgusting little virus........


    ..........and the other is a variant of COVID
     
    #21206
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.
    John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
    Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
    The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."
    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, when the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
     
    #21208
  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    #21211
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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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