Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because proper tea is theft

 

My wife just asked, "What was Jesus' full name?"
So I dropped a bowling ball on her foot.

 

The alarm went off at 6am
The wife said "Turn it off!" and went back to sleep
I got up quietly, went to work and then rang the fire brigade

 

I've decided I'm going to cook my wife something nice for dinner tonight.
Just to show her how it's f*cking done

 

I was really excited when my wife suggested we start having date nights to put the spark back in our relationship.
Until I realised she meant together.

 

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Has he got two pockets?

 

Excellent marra....fell about laughing!

 

This reminds me of being on holiday when I was a kid, Tenerife or somewhere. Me Nana asked the woman at the pub we were having tea in "how do you pronounce his place"

"Beck ham, beck ham, Beckham's bar" was the reply.

She was serious aswell. We were clearly English, think someone was probably wearing an England footy top and he was England captain at the time.

 

I joined the Tourettes society yesterday.
It only took a minute to be sworn in!