Covid deaths today in the UK = 115 66 in England 32 in Scotland England has 11 times the population of Scotland.
My wife is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume. She said to me this morning "Wait there, I'll try it on and tell me what you think"? She came in, I looked at her and said "Wow, that's a fabulous costume, you will easily win a prize with that, it's the most realistic killer whale costume I've ever seen" She replied "I'm going as a f*cking nun, you b*stard"
Thank me later lads. Buy yourself new boxer shorts, socks and Lynx Africa just before Christmas BUT KEEP THE RECEIPTS and post it on Facebook so your family don't buy you this crap. Once they've bought you a nice new designer shirt and the best aftershave money can buy, return your crap and enjoy your new smart look and f@nny magnet smell.
My wife said she was thinking about Buying a Mini...?? I said, "You'll never get your f*cking big, fat arse into one of those". She said, "Not a Skirt, I meant the Car, you cheeky b*stard". "So did I". I replied